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What you want?

Blessed are the souls who have found their shores, rest of us are still wandering deep in Sea.

I am 33 and presume that almost half way through leaving my life.  My strength , I am brutally honest to myself and these is something I have been most consistent with.

Keeping up with the honesty, I was never sure what I want and till today I am not very sure. When I was a kid, I wanted to become Doctor, then I wanted to become a Police Officer, then wanted to get married to one of play buddy……………. the list just went on and on. I ended up doing none of the things.

I became an Engineer and started working for Pride. Still not knowing what I want.But in all the chaotic and hectic choices that life has given me and no matter what chosen, I realized few things.

1.  I want to be Happy & Strong.

2. I am blessed that I have a choice.

As I grew older ( I hate to admit), I found more and more people have the same want. And the best thing about it everyone can be happy. The cosmic powers have enough energy to lighten very corner of the planet.

But the Starting Point is to acknowledge to oneself that we have all the right to be happy.

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And we stood strong

Few days ago I celebrate my 9th wedding anniversary. My husband and I prefer to celebrate between us.

So keeping up with the practice we went to a place in Kolkata called Botanical Gardens. The place famous for the Great Banayan Tree. It is great in all the true spirits, but what caught my attention the tree standing along a corner not so well maintained.

So the tree I was looking at is something I have never seen before.

It has a perfect appearance when you see the front view, the surprise…. It’s completely hollow from the back. But it proudly holds it’s head high and bears healthy branches and leaves.

This reminded me how we all put a brave face to the world when we know our own life is crumbling.

How we stand strong and provide for our loved ones when we are shivering within.

This post to celebrate all the brave hearts who Stood strong on its ground and never said never.

The Right Side

I always enjoyed reading stories. They are the best ways of passing down wisdom.

While growing up (and the process is still on) there have been instances when I got into a dispute. Sometimes with others, but mostly within (my heart and brain never got along well). If we look around to find what causes all these rifts, we will find we always try to pick a side. Most of the times we want to defend what we believe in and try to stand up for the believes we have.

Believe systems are funny, as many times it has been built on what we have been told over and over. Many times it’s based on what we want or rather what favors our existence.

In our school syllabus, there was a book which was my all time fav. It was called “Read for Pleasure”. Two points which made it in my list.

1. There were no exams for them

2. It has the collection of best stories.

In one of such stories (sorry I don’t remember the name anymore), I learned that there is always the Other Side.

It was a story of a soldier who was running for his life after losing a war and hides inside the room of a lady who was set to marry the war hero.

He shares the story with her from how he saw the war rather than what people are talking about.

How it was not the gallantry of her fiance that won the war, but it was there luck on the other side that gave up.

It helped me realized one thing for sure. Never read your History as if it’s the final truth. As famously said, ” History is written by the WINNERS“.

There is always the 3rd side of a story, which I prefer to call the ‘Right Side‘.

Next time when you are listing to someone and judging someone, remember there is always Another Side.

The MANIAC & THE MORON

I got this story, while learning and working on NLP. I have shared it with some of my colleagues and friends it’s something all of them can relate to.

So let me start with asking you a question Are you a Maniac or a Moron? Most of us will say none, some may even feel offended that I asked a question on their sanity 🙂

So we start our story , assuming that we are neither Maniac nor a Moron.

Let’s assume you have been looking forward to visit your folks for a long time, finally the long weekend is here. You are all prepared and you hit the Gas. On the way to your journey you fall behind a car which is moving at it’s own pace (may going slow by 10km/hr then the allowed speed limit). You are desperate to move on and stared honking. You are now thinking what a Moron driving the car, having no respect to time. He should learn driving, you are thinking and judging him all the time…………

In the meanwhile another car pulls up behind you, this guy also wants to pass through the cars. You can listen that he has started honking and showing you feast.  You are now thinking OMG the driver is Maniac.

Now, let’s take a pause here, now let’s see the story from other’s point of view. In the beginning of the story you were neither a Moron nor a Maniac. But now for the car owner running in-front, you are a MANIAC and the for the car behind, you are a MORON ………

Now let’s move the scenario to our day to day life. How many times it happened so, we have determined the Goals and planned our activities to achieve it. So many times, someone behaved absolutely like a Moron or a Maniac. Before you start judging people around you,remember:

People work with the all the best they have and nobody intentionally self sabotage.

Try to remember the CAR story, it’s the situation and the position from where we are looking at someone or some scenario.

new york street cabs taxis
Photo by Life Of Pix on Pexels.com

 

The Misplaced Happiness…

Is it easy to have what you want,when you know what you want? The question itself is a tongue twister, can’t imagine how the answer will look like.

On the blessed day of my life, I realized all I want is to be HAPPY. Though it has solved one issue for me, it brought quite a few along with it.

The first question crossed my mind how to define Happiness? I love Google, after my Dad offcource. And since it was available for me right there I took it’s help to define it for me.

So the definition, “ happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being which can be defined by, among others, positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy” I used it for defining the path of achieving the ultimate goal.

Now the next stop was to determine what brings in Mental or Emotional well being. The Magic word for me was “SHOPPING”. The more I spent the better it felt. Giving away lavish gifts to my parents was my way of showing gratitude towards them. So I have ultimately found ‘Happiness’.

The more I spent the more I wanted to earn and I felt like a guinea pig on a exercise cycle. In the meanwhile two things were happening………

1. I was no way close being Happy

2. I was confused and angry

On my Mom’s birthday I wanted to take her on a lavish dinner and my parents are not ready to go. So my Mom ended up cooking a feast for all of us on her birthday.

I was grumpy, and was nagging my Dad on how bad it is that she has to cook on her birthday. So the discussion started his question ‘Do you know the difference with Happiness and Pleasure?” We have a bad network at home and so I didn’t have the answer.

He started with ,you are worse than 6 years old (though he still treats me like one).

This is what he had to say, ‘Going out and spending money gives you pleasure, but for your mother happiness is having us around, chatting and enjoying her food’. During all this conversation, Mom was smiling and I realized I have a long way ahead.

I have realized, I have misplaced Happiness………………

Current Status: Still looking for the path which will lead me to my Goal 🙂